I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
