Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
