I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
