Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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