i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
