I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
should my penis look like a turkey
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize