Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize