i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i dont even know how to be here
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
