I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
