This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
