I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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