Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
