I'm going to jail i love you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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