That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
