i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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