Swine flu. Run for my life!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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