Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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