the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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