I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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