I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
