yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
