"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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