they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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