I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
