I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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