Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize