I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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