She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
