I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
