does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's blow job season.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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