im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ttyl tear gas
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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