i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
