Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they're like a gay fantastic four
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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