You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
