the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
