I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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