I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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