When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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