Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
