We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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