Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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