I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
