ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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