Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We left the knife in your bed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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