i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
