oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
