I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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