id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I skipped work to stalk him.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
