Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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