I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
