Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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