fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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