I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize