It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
