508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
