Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
