Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
