white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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