Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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