Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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