I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
