ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
