oh god the rape fog is back!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
