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Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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