They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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